On Behavior Change And Sticking With It—Long Enough To Get Good At It
Think about a time when you were bad at something but stuck with it long enough to get good at it. Progressing through the cycles of behavior change.
Think about a time when you were bad at something but stuck with it long enough to get good at it.
For me, it was tennis my freshman year of high school. My best friend and I decided to join the team, and having never played before, I was embarrassingly bad at tennis. 🎾
But I enjoyed learning a new sport and hanging out with my teammates, so I decided to stick with it.
As I was learning to serve, I had to remember a million little things—the placement of my feet, how to hold the racket, where to toss the ball, when to swing, how hard to swing, and how to angle the racket and follow through with my upper body.
More times than I can count, I'd throw the ball up, swing, and hear the whistling of my racket through empty air and the ball bouncing at my feet: swing and a miss.
Think back to a thing you used to be bad at. Do you remember how your brain and body stumbled every step of the way?
Developing new skills is hard. We experience a ton of friction and resistance along the way. If we want to change and do something new, we have to accept the discomfort of being beginners.
By the end of the season that year, I could step up to serve and, without thinking, toss the ball into the air, swing through the hit, and sprint up to the net, ready to hit a volley before the tennis ball even hit the court.
My doubles partner and I went on to win a regional championship, play Varsity singles, and loved our four years on the team.
How about you? How did your life change when you got good at what you were initially bad at?
So often, we give up before we get to the good stuff and don't give the new skill time to develop into a natural part of ourselves—where muscle memory develops, old habits dissolve, and new neuronal pathways form.
As an Executive Wellness coach, I support clients in making lasting behavioral changes for a happier, healthier life and business. This month in my Functional Medicine coaching classes, we've been learning about the five stages of behavior change:
Pre-Contemplation
Contemplation
Preparation
Action
Maintenance
Think about your wellness goals. Which stage of the change process do you see yourself in right now?
Pre-Contemplation:
At this stage, you haven't considered prioritizing your well-being. You may be fully immersed in your work, unaware of its toll on your physical and mental health.
Contemplation:
You're contemplating making wellness a priority in your life and business. Maybe it was after a particularly stressful week at work or when you noticed your energy levels declining. You've begun to consider delegating at work, incorporating daily movement, mindful eating, or meditation into your routine.
Preparation:
As you started to see the potential benefits of prioritizing your well-being, you took proactive steps to prepare for change. For example, you may have started writing a job description for a Virtual Assistant, purchased a walking pad, or hired a wellness coach.
Action:
This is when you put your plans into motion and actively incorporate new practices into your daily life. You hired the VA, started going for daily walks, swapped out processed snacks for healthier options, or set aside time each morning to meditate.
Maintenance:
In the Maintenance stage, wellness isn't just something you're experimenting with; it's a fundamental part of who you are and how you lead. You've established sustainable habits and routines that support your physical, mental, and emotional well-being, allowing you to show up as your best self in your personal and professional life.
It's important to understand that change isn't linear. Most of us will relapse and recycle through the stages of change before we sustain new habits and behaviors. This is normal and to be expected. It doesn't mean you've failed or are incapable of the transformation you want.
In every stage of the change process, meet yourself with self-compassion and support.
What's one thing you've wanted to change in your life or business to align more with your vision and values? I'd love to hear from you in the comments!
With love,
Alyssa B.
Trying to grow and develop a Substack. I thought it was just going to be writing cool stuff and the rest would take care of itself. Turns out not so much - so I ma learning the art of writing good Notes and networking with other writers. Thanks for writing this piece, I just subscribed to read more.